Confessions of a wingman
I go by the pseudonym Jay☠Sp4d3s♠. A South-Bronx raised Cyberpunk that use to be the the kid who can slide into any clique, grease the social gears, and tee up flawless intros for shy friends. English-lit essays were my strong suit, hallway psychology experiments by were an every day thing for me, cataloguing who laughs, who blushes, and which compliments actually land. My journey started as the ultimate wingman to my best friends and socialite in high school. I was always helping friends navigate the rough crowd of alpha wolves and hyenas that were looking to beta someone and gain clout at their expense. I continued from high school and went on to college where I studied English and psychology. I eventually became fascinated by what makes people tick, and dove deep into relationship dynamics, even exploring astrology to decode the mysteries of attraction.
In college, I started dating seriously, learning (sometimes the hard way) about the highs and lows of relationships. I kept levelling up my charm and confidence which had me pulling women who, on paper, were miles out of my league. fashionistas, Undergrads, Women of different backgrounds I was literally this spontaneous daredevil with nothing to lose. I developed a high tolerance for toxic situations however which inevitably lead me to meet someone whose behavior shattered my sense of self.
Imagine meeting someone who’s tactical enough to find you where ever you go, find out what ever your doing, find all your vulnerabilities, control your social image, establish a relationship with all of your exes and back ups giving you no where to run and slither there way into your life making choice just an illusion to you. That was my experience to say the very least. That experience forced me to rebuild myself from the ground up, shedding the confusion, gaslighting, the weaknesses and false narratives that held me back. A journey to become a better version of myself.
After years of studying Dating dynamics, Psychology, manipulation, sociology, emotions intelligence, cognitive behavioral therapy, Cybersecurity and a lot more I have decided to work with a team to create a resource that can catalog and discuss all related information that could make it easy for people to recognize a bad situation or create a better ones for themselves. Although my overall goal is framed around how to have healthy relationships i do want to make sure people attempt this from a place of forgiveness and healing. I hope with the direction and advisement of whoever is reading this i may be able to successfully accomplish this.